Post some PRO JOKES!

How much Cum Does a Gay Guy Want?

Spoiler:

Matt : Hey Jimmy, you know whats bad about playing Baseball?
Jimmy : What is it?
Matt : Its the part where you have to tell your parents that you're gay!

A random funny joke will be picked daily and the winner will recieve up to 3 Gach tickets depending on how funny it is

ONLY 1 WINNER PER DAY!

Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.

Instead of characteristically telling her it's not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."

Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.

"How long will this take?" she asks.

"They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies.

The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts everyday will make my breasts grow over the years?"

"Worked for your butt, didn't it?"

He lived. And with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again.

LMFAO EPIC!! OKAY IMA ADD ANOTHER ONE

Oh, this will get you hard Doseon jus reading at it.

What am I? I am a common object enjoyed by both sexes, normally about 8 inches long, with little hairs on one end, and a hole on the other. For most of the day I am laying down, but I am ready for instant action. When in use, I move back and forth and in 'n' out a warm, moist hole. When the work is finally done, a white, slushy, sticky mush is left behind, and I return to my original position. Cleaning is usually done after I am. What am I?

Spoiler:

HAHAHA nice one my fav one so far, but u are the only one LOL

Man Where's all the Pervert's at?

Sixth grade science teacher Mr. Sampson asks his class: "Who can tell me
which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?"

Nobody raises a hand, so he calls on the first student to look his way.

"Mary, can you tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times
its usual size when stimulated?"

Mary stands up, blushing furiously. "Sir, how dare you ask such a question?
I'm going to complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal,
who will have you fired!"

Mr. Sampson is shocked by Mary's reaction, but undaunted. He asked the class
the question again and this time Sam raised his hand. "Yes, Sam?"

"Mr. Sampson, Sir, the correct answer is the iris of the human eye."

"Very good, Sam. Thank you."

Mr. Sampson then turns to Mary and says, "Mary, I have three things to
tell you:

First, it's clear that you have NOT done your homework. Second, you have a
dirty mind. And third, I fear one day you are going to be sadly
disappointed."

what are the similarities between a women and KFC?
once you're done with the breast and thigh all you have is a greasy box to throw your bone in.

^^ haha nice one.

lol weirdvery weird.. xD

Little Jimmy had to take a shit so he asked his teacher to take a crap.
His teacher said no.
Little Jimmy had to take a shit so bad he stood up and held his but with both of his hands.
His teacher noticed this and told Little Jimmy to sit down.
Little Jimmy couldn't or else he would crap in the classroom so he said "i can't"
His teacher then said "let me see your hands"
Little Jimmy lied and said "its a leprechaun" but he really shitted in his hands
Little Jimmy kept answering no until his teacher said "let me see or else i will call your parents"
When his teacher said this, Little Jimmy said fine...
He shows his teacher and his teacher saw the shit and said "what is this?!?"
and then Little Jimmy said "See what you did, You scared the Shit out of him!"

Loliesc(:

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. “I’ll go into town for a doctor,” the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. “I can’t leave,” the doctor says. ‘But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground.” The guy ruins back to his friend, who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?” the victim asks. “He says you’re gonna die.”

Best joke ever. >D

Can Videos win too?

W.e Just for Shits and Gigs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FPANMDt7nsk&feature=related

This is the best.

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

1)
A Little brother and an Older brother Goes around mall, shopping. They see a hot Blonde shopping at Holister.
The older brother follows the blonde chick, while the little brother steps back.
Older brother : What's the matter lets go ask that chick out!
Little brother : No, Jesus said not to stare at hot chicks or I'll turn to stone, And i already feel something hard D: .
___________________________________________________________
2)
A son and the Father went out eatting alone.
Son : Hey dad, Guess what!
Father : What?
Son : Today i got my first Blow Job! ;D
Father : I'm proud of you son. You became a man son. -puts hand on shoulder-. So, do you have any questions?
Son : Yes, when does the taste go away?
____________________________________________________________
3) btw, the Pharmacist is a girl
A Young Vergin Man goes to the Pharmacy to get some condoms. He goes to the back and asks the pharmacist where the condoms are. The Pharmacist answers, " Do you even know how to use it?" The man Nods meaning no. The Pharmacist took one out of a box and puts it on her thumb showing the man how to use the condom.
Pharmacist : Do you know how to use it now?
Man : I think i do...
Pharmacist : -sigh-

The pharmacist looks around to check if there's anyone around. She went back and strips naked.
Pharmacist : Do you like what you see?
Man : Ohhhh Yea
The Pharmacist and the Man has sex.
Pharmacist : Did you use the condom?
The man sticks his thumb out.
Man : I Sure did!

LOL ZACK! Those are funny xD

Sexy Signals
Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights because they can't see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife decides to find a solution.

"Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time."

The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, Now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis 50 times."

Idk might not be funny

A panda goes to a restaurant and orders an entree. The waiter give him the food and the panda finishes the meal. When the waiter gives him the bill, the panda shoots and was about to leave the restaurant until the manager manages to stop him for a minute. Manager says, "Hey, you just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your bill." Panda says, "I'm a PANDA, doh. Look it up in the dictionary!" So the panda runs away and the manager looks up panda in the dictionary. PANDA: a mammal from Asia that eats shoots and leaves.

His father sends a small boy to bed. Five
minutes later....
"Da-ad...."
"What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No. You had your
chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."
"WHAT?"
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad....."
"WHAT!"
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

gg ^^

Before Marriage:

He: Yes. At last, it was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don’t even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get!
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I’m not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!

After Marriage:

Now read this from bottom to top.
idk if this is funny O:

AHAHAHAH ^^

Angry Rage Asian > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dA8gGoW57c
Joker interrogation scene spoof > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2yv8aT0UFc